Strangely wonderful Internet Uncle

Today afternoon I checked my Orkut account after decades. Oh, did I tell you that due to the various "fraandship" requests I had decided to shift over to Facebook a couple of years ago. I believe even you have the same story. Anyways, so my Orkut inbox has some 253 unread messages. After a lot of deep thinking(*Read :5 minutes) I decided to go through them because I had nothing to do(*Read : I didn't want to move my lazyarse). 

I could not wait to share the love filled messages from my inbox with you guys. Here comes the first:

Hi beautiful,(my orkut profile reads: b'ful nightmare)
I am Shyam from Raurkela. plz add me.

Thank you Shyam, I am flattered.


Hey cutie pie,do u know i cud not remove my eyes from ur fotu. lets be fraands.

Blah !


hi.this is naresh,34 yr old male, looking for young, hot girls in and arnd pune. contact me- 9********0.

Exactly how young is young Mr. Naresh? Well, you should have been specific. Oh and thanks for calling me hot. I am a rarely complimented bitch. Oh and don't you have a wifey and a kid at home?



I almost cried after reading this:

b'ful,VIAGRA @60% off. click here.


Is my singlehood and desperation that obvious? Du-uh ! I soooo need a guy, fast.

hey cn u plj(with a 'j' and not 'z') tel me if my webcam is working or nt? http://www.***********.com

What am I? Your daddy's assistant or your mommy bought me as part of her dowry?


Hi my name is nataraj.If you like my pics and you want to leave me your feedback, do contact me, my email-id is nat.crazzy@yahoo.com . As I always say our relationship will always be kept secret. 

And what exactly should I say about your "pics". That I haven't seen someone as hairy as you or as pathetic as you. The secret relationship part, wait till my daddy dearest reads it.

If any females (married or single) are interested in friendship with me, you may mail me at indian0074@yahoo.com Signing off for the time being.

Thank you so much Indian007 for signing off.

Okay okay, last one, I promise:
 
Hello everyone, I am mahi,21 year old guy living in Bangalore, Karnataka…. I would like to know u. I am open to friendship and any relationship with ladies. Please do mail me at my Email id. Good relationship is promised. Waiting to hear from u. Please mail me your response to my mail id, don’t forget—> manu10120@yahoo.com

This one had a picture. Oh, boy.

Mr. Internet, I am speechless after this.

 

Consentida: Lips of an angel

Consentida: Lips of an angel: " &n..."

Lips of an angel

                                         It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
                                                               It sounds so sweet
                                              Coming from the lips of an angel
                                                        Hearing those words it makes me weak

                                       And I never wanna say goodbye
                                                       But girl you make it hard to be faithful
                                             With the lips of an angel.

That is how i felt when you took my name the other night and hugged me tight in the parking lot. I was drunk and all I wanted to say was "Sorry" for hurting you so bad. Had I known that I had already lost you I wouldn't have come back. Thanks to the beer. You accepted me back in your life only because you did not want to break my heart. Isn't that what you are doing now? Shattering my heart into pieces.

I loved it when you kissed me in the parking lot. I loved it when you hugged me tight while I was sleeping. I loved it when when you walked me home every night. I loved it when you made sure that my tummy was full and I had half of your share of milk. I had fallen head over heels for you and you very well knew that.


Then why did you have to hurt me so bad? Why do you make me cry everyday? Do you have any idea how much I miss you. How much I miss those days when you were so much in love with me. 


Didn't you realize that having broken my heart once, I was scared to plunge and open my heart? Instead of turning your back only if you could have made me comfortable.


Is it a fling we have? As far as I can see, our fling is teethering somewhere between "fling" and "dating". Are you with me only because you aren't seeing anyone currently or you genuinely feel something for me. I'll never be sure.

I preferred it my way, with my shield up and my walls cemented around me. But you make it so hard to follow my mantra of “don’t get too attached” , with your easy bad boy grin.

I guess it was never your fault. It has always been about me. I left, then came back.

Oh, please don’t feel bad if I run far away from you and go to a place where I’m still numb and unable to feel. Life's not good to a girl without armour.

You talking to me? Me? Me? Me?

That is how I reacted when I received my second call of the day. The person went on and on about how disgusted he felt because of my last entry. Well, I should have been expecting. Should have seen that one coming(*Read : I was sure I had to run for my life).


I was yelled at(*Read: threatened), while I was searching for the right words to explain my part. Needless to say, I lost the argument. I hung up saying (in the most strictest tone possible)," I ain't scared" (*Read: I was shit scared). Why the hell on earth am I studying law? I should be crowned Controversy Queen. 

Why is it that something that has not happened ever can happen never? My life has taught me that there is always a first time for anything and everything. Indian parents, till date, are not comfortable with their kids dating and premarital sex, but then you do it, right? And of course, you are happy. I am sure none of us were bought up with values that included changing our boyfriends or girlfriends like we change our clothes, but we do, right? 

Being from an orthodox family myself, I know how these things work, but aren't we in something called as the 21st century? When you can have a string of boyfriends and girlfriends, can fall in love endless number of times, have the strength to dream and dream big, then what for Christ's sakes is the issue with a simple blog post? You don't want to be talked about, discussed about.. Excuse me, what century do ya belong to? Or for that matter, whats your name, girlie? I have seen girls doing and saying such stuff but coming from a guy it sounds weird. Blah ! more than weird.

As Shakespeare puts it:
"Forbear to judge, for we are sinners all.  ~William Shakespeare, Henry VI"
 

Holy mom of Christ! You think you are going to break my laptop and yeah right, I am going to let you do it. We believe wrongs aren't wrongs if it is done by nice people like ourselves. Hypocrite calculative people. Okay, I might have said a few blunt things but ever heard of the word "Chill."

Lesson learnt !

*You can't blog about everything in every sense of the word. I'll probably change my URL and do something about the tracking devices. I'd rather stick to me, mine and myself!

P.S.: If you are reading this right now, probably you'll understand that why I refuse to take your calls. I hate hypocrites.

Haryana House - I

Flat number 3, Trilokya Society, Lane number-2, Prashant society, Paud Road, Kothrud, Pune a.k.a. HARYANA HOUSE. No baby no.. If you think I am going to recite the story of Patiala House (oh, I liked it) then you are in for a surprise. This place is called Haryana House because all its residents hail from Haryana. To be precise, Panipat. Heard of it, have you? 

All the residents of this place are, if I can say so, different. I feel like Alice in Wonderland when I enter this place. All, from the Queen to the Rabbit, from the Mad Hatter to the Cheshire cat, along with the pack of cards, everyone is here. Probably Mr. Carroll could have written Alice In wonderland-II. 

Starting with the eldest member of the pack, Sanjay Singh Arya, he is the Queen from Alice in Wonderland. "Off with his/her head." That is what he would have said like that queen from Wonderland. He looks hot, yes, very. But, as always, as time and again history has proved, looks can be deceptive. And this super temperamental hunk proves it. Introvert yet hot. Traditional yet modern. Temperamental yet cool headed. In a nut shell, a 24 year old man of contradictions. 

I haven't spoken to him..let me rephrase, he has never spoken to me. Either ways, I am happy because he scares me to no end. He hates loud-ness and loud people, and my vocal chords are unable to lower their pitch. 

Up next is my Cheshire Cat, Praveen Sharma. The super chilled cub of the pack. He doesn't need a cell phone, thanks to Mark Zuckerberg. He is online 24x7 ; one of the major reasons why he has become such a good friend. With age and experience come maturity and sensibility and he has it all. You start to lose your temper over someone, something, don't know what to do and Whoosh! here comes the Cheshire cat. In a second, problems solved and you what to do. A majorly resourceful guy. As per my knowledge, he has contacts all over India (okay, I am exaggerating). I mean it, probably not all over but a major chunk of the country for sure. Is single and so ready to mingle. He has promised me job in his factory once I pass out from college. Although, he has not passed out from his own college yet.

Oh my my, the Rabbit of the pack (no pun intended), Ajay Singh Arya, and a pretty insensitive one at that. For my regular readers, the last post Madness was dedicated to him. Setting aside all my woes, he is a gem of a person, exactly like the rabbit. Helping, guiding,extremely focused at the job at hand. Loves himself (well, who doesn't). The only thing both of us have in common is that we have dreams. Dreams bigger than both our heads put together. That is where the similarity ends. He is constantly digging for knowledge, information, absolutely anything he can lay his hands on. Practical and trustworthy; I can bombard him with my darkest secrets and he won't even flinch. And I am so in love with his dimples. That is probably the first thing I noticed when I first saw him in the college canteen. He personifies the absolute metropolitan male,for reasons known only to me. Manipulative, diplomatic and a hypocrite : yes; but all this along with a good heart.

                                                                       

Madness

Love is madness. Well well, that is what I have started to believe and that is exactly what my recent activities have proved. For all those who believe that being in love is the best feeling in the world and whatnot, you stand corrected. Love is, by and large, the worst feeling. Its like an earthquake. It erupts after days, months, in some cases, minutes and after it subsides it leaves you with a lot of debris.

The guy who claims to love me (and well, I do love him back with a greater intensity), should be given the world's- biggest-hypocrite award. Hypocrisy is a full time job for him. He has affection beaming in one eye, and calculation in the other. To the best of my knowledge, he is an introvert, does not talk to people, does not party, does not drink, does not smoke and of course, does not, read it again, DOES NOT flirt.

Oh oww.. By the way, in the last couple of months he has been to a friend's birthday party, a friend's sister's birthday party, a friend's girlfriend's birthday party and his brother's girlfriend's birthday party. How does that sound? Great, isn't it? And when it concerns me, he is an introvert. Oh and not to forget, he still claims to love me.

That is why I say that love is madness. I put up with all his nonsense. Why? just because I believe I love him. Crap, I do love him. What does that say about me? You guessed it right. I am an idiot. He takes me for granted. The guy very strongly declares that he knows I am not going to leave him any day. Ahh, hell, he is so right. I am not going anywhere. Sad, but true.
He doesn't even care if I am alive or dead, he doesn't take my calls (do not think he is cheating on me, because I know he is not), doesn't text me EVER, doesn't take me out, doesn't meet me but he still loves me. And I put up with his crap, forgive him whenever he says sorry and still love him with all my heart. Madness. Definitely.

Whenever I need to talk to some one he is always absent. He loves me. Whenever I am in a fix, he is absent. He loves me. When I really really need some help, he is absent. He loves me. When I desperately want some of his time, he is busy. He loves me.
I take his calls in the first ring. I am an idiot. I meet him whenever he wants. I am an idiot. I get him whatever he asks for. I am an idiot. I call him the whole night just to say good night. I am an idiot.


Aren’t we all a little old to be playing games? I know I am. I’ve tried and failed miserably. I don’t want to go through the whole “guess what I feel!” thing again, and I’m weary of men who want me to do that. If I like you enough to suggest meeting up, if I like you enough to spend an evening with you, must we go through the whole yo-yo thing? I’d appreciate it far, far more if people were just straight: You were great, but I’m just not interested. Simple. No need to do this dance.

Cupid is definitely having a great time seeing me royally screwed.
The world is a crazy place and being in love is crazier. Trust me.