Strangely wonderful Internet Uncle

Today afternoon I checked my Orkut account after decades. Oh, did I tell you that due to the various "fraandship" requests I had decided to shift over to Facebook a couple of years ago. I believe even you have the same story. Anyways, so my Orkut inbox has some 253 unread messages. After a lot of deep thinking(*Read :5 minutes) I decided to go through them because I had nothing to do(*Read : I didn't want to move my lazyarse). 

I could not wait to share the love filled messages from my inbox with you guys. Here comes the first:

Hi beautiful,(my orkut profile reads: b'ful nightmare)
I am Shyam from Raurkela. plz add me.

Thank you Shyam, I am flattered.


Hey cutie pie,do u know i cud not remove my eyes from ur fotu. lets be fraands.

Blah !


hi.this is naresh,34 yr old male, looking for young, hot girls in and arnd pune. contact me- 9********0.

Exactly how young is young Mr. Naresh? Well, you should have been specific. Oh and thanks for calling me hot. I am a rarely complimented bitch. Oh and don't you have a wifey and a kid at home?



I almost cried after reading this:

b'ful,VIAGRA @60% off. click here.


Is my singlehood and desperation that obvious? Du-uh ! I soooo need a guy, fast.

hey cn u plj(with a 'j' and not 'z') tel me if my webcam is working or nt? http://www.***********.com

What am I? Your daddy's assistant or your mommy bought me as part of her dowry?


Hi my name is nataraj.If you like my pics and you want to leave me your feedback, do contact me, my email-id is nat.crazzy@yahoo.com . As I always say our relationship will always be kept secret. 

And what exactly should I say about your "pics". That I haven't seen someone as hairy as you or as pathetic as you. The secret relationship part, wait till my daddy dearest reads it.

If any females (married or single) are interested in friendship with me, you may mail me at indian0074@yahoo.com Signing off for the time being.

Thank you so much Indian007 for signing off.

Okay okay, last one, I promise:
 
Hello everyone, I am mahi,21 year old guy living in Bangalore, Karnataka…. I would like to know u. I am open to friendship and any relationship with ladies. Please do mail me at my Email id. Good relationship is promised. Waiting to hear from u. Please mail me your response to my mail id, don’t forget—> manu10120@yahoo.com

This one had a picture. Oh, boy.

Mr. Internet, I am speechless after this.